self-care.

When I was younger, I assumed I was an extrovert. I like to talk (a lot) and process verbally, I like engaging with new people, and I am not overwhelmed talking to a new person. 

I also assumed that Kevin was an introvert. He's more reserved, doesn't spew everything that pops into his brain out of his mouth (wisdom!), and is often quiet with new folks (as I've learned, he's taking time to really listen and get to know them). 

As it turns out, we're both a little of each, but I fall in the introvert category and he falls in the extrovert category. I am recharged when I am on my own or in small groups. Time with a good friend, talking over coffee or dessert or a great meal, recharges me. Reading alone recharges me. Going on a walk and thinking and talking in my brain recharges me. Parties with lots of people (even people I hold dear) make me tired. I often wondered why I was exhausted when I lived with five other girls in college. Yes, we stayed up too late, but I can see now it was the constant people around -- I had very little space to myself. 

In these early years of mothering and being home full-time with my littles, I am physically required to do a lot during the day. It's not always difficult, per say, but it's tiring. And I am very rarely alone. As I grow in caring for my babies and knowing myself, taking care of myself has moved higher on the priority list. I can truck through a bit (although my "bit" is pretty short-lived), but soon I'll need a recharge. 

Sometimes I'll be talking to someone about this and they perceive I mean something extravagant like a day at the spa or a night away alone or with my husband. Both of those do sound dreamy, but that's definitely not what I'm talking about. 

I'm talking about finding a rhythm in my days and weeks to take pulse on how I'm feeling and what I need to get back to being the best wife, mama, friend, sister, daughter I can be. I made a list of things that take short bits of time (less than an hour, but most are 5-15 minutes) that refresh me, and I refer to that list often when I need a little pep in my step. 

Going on a walk (if the littles are along, I find a good podcast and wear headphones for some of the walk to get the "feeling" of being alone)
Sitting and drinking tea during nap time or after the kids are in bed
Yoga for 5+ minutes
Taking a bath
Sitting outside
Journaling or writing 
Cooking or baking alone
Reading

This is in addition to the regular ways we aim to care for ourselves as a family -- eating real food, moving our bodies most every day, getting enough sleep (or as much as our small children will let us get), weekly date nights, and getting up before the kids to get a start on the day before they need me. 

I've found when I am consistently caring for myself, keeping these little bits in the regular rhythm of my days, I am more energized and more able to care for the people and things entrusted to me.