I've been reading through Proverbs lately, aiming to read one or two chapters each morning and journaling as I read, noting what sticks out and what I want to sit on and think on a bit more.
The idea that is really sitting deeply for me this time reading this book is wisdom. What does wise living look like? How do I cultivate it? What areas of my life am I doing unwise things? In Proverbs 2 it talks about "tuning your ears to wisdom" -- I am desiring in this season to tune my life, as you would tune an instrument, to wisdom. I am looking at items that go in -- tv, blogs I read, books, magazines, conversations, thoughts I sit on -- and trying to take out all that doesn't add to wisdom in my life. I don't think anything frivolous is bad or should be avoided, but I also noticed I'd let things in that are taking away from my focus.
"If you live a life of wisdom, you won't limp or stumble when you run" Proverbs 12.4
As a wise person is described in Proverbs, -- glad to be instructed, gives good advice, their words lead to life, their life is filled with joy, one with understanding -- it has struck me that those words describe who I want to be.
10.30.2013
10.10.2013
narrow & full.
I listened to a podcast this morning that talked about these days of mothering, especially small kids, being narrow -- there are constraints because we are raising children that may not be present in other seasons of life -- but not unimportant. Just because we have constraints does not mean our days aren't impacting, fruitful, or unimportant. Such good reminders for me.
The other night I went to hear Sally Clarkson speak. Have you read her books or blog? (If not, I highly recommend reading her blog and her book Misson of Motherhood) She is a seasoned mama. She has trudged her way through mothering, growing and raising successful, joyful children. When she speaks, it's like something is ignited in me to refocus, see the big picture, and love my kids well. She speaks at a local church once a month to a group of hungry-to-grow mamas and it's powerful to be there. One thing I especially love is being with women who desire to be excellent mothers, and are doing something about it. It encourages me to press on and keep finding ways to grow because of the fruit I see in their homes and children and marriages.
The words that most impacted me from hearing Sally speak was the picture she gave of God pouring into me and me pouring into my child. It's such a good picture, but what really struck me was that if I am not in line with God -- not spending time with Him, growing, praying, walking in peace and joy -- I am still pouring something into my children, but it is not of God. They receive something from me, but what are they receiving? It's been a good thing for me to ponder the past couple of days and think on where my time is spent.
After spending a bit of time with two dear friends yesterday afternoon, I was reminded that the most important place I put my time and effort is into my relationship with God. If I stray there, every other facet of my life is impacted. If I am faithful there, every other facet of my life is impacted. And it doesn't need to be an hour long, luxurious, completely silent chunk of time, but I am pouring out what I am putting in.
The other night I went to hear Sally Clarkson speak. Have you read her books or blog? (If not, I highly recommend reading her blog and her book Misson of Motherhood) She is a seasoned mama. She has trudged her way through mothering, growing and raising successful, joyful children. When she speaks, it's like something is ignited in me to refocus, see the big picture, and love my kids well. She speaks at a local church once a month to a group of hungry-to-grow mamas and it's powerful to be there. One thing I especially love is being with women who desire to be excellent mothers, and are doing something about it. It encourages me to press on and keep finding ways to grow because of the fruit I see in their homes and children and marriages.
The words that most impacted me from hearing Sally speak was the picture she gave of God pouring into me and me pouring into my child. It's such a good picture, but what really struck me was that if I am not in line with God -- not spending time with Him, growing, praying, walking in peace and joy -- I am still pouring something into my children, but it is not of God. They receive something from me, but what are they receiving? It's been a good thing for me to ponder the past couple of days and think on where my time is spent.
After spending a bit of time with two dear friends yesterday afternoon, I was reminded that the most important place I put my time and effort is into my relationship with God. If I stray there, every other facet of my life is impacted. If I am faithful there, every other facet of my life is impacted. And it doesn't need to be an hour long, luxurious, completely silent chunk of time, but I am pouring out what I am putting in.
10.03.2013
keeping it clean and other thoughts on motherhood.
Many places I look or read about motherhood makes note of "good mothers" having dirty floors or messy homes. And I totally get the sentiment -- the most important thing when we are in the throes of mothering small children is not a clean home. And with that I completely agree.
But I also think it's dangerous to say ________ means you are a good mother (and to me it sounds like if you are doing the opposite you are a bad mother). Yes, clean homes shouldn't be our focus in these days (and probably not ever in life), but I also think there are things that make life smooth and peaceful for certain families, and we should encourage those mamas to do those things. For instance, I am not a crafter or sewer. And if I wanted to start those things today, I am not sure when I would do them. But I have dear friends who love to create and it's such a sweet outlet for them -- they grow in creativity, grow as women, make money for their families, and enjoy doing it. For them, finding the time to craft or create is totally worth it and is fruitful. But it's not for me.
We love to have our home tidy. Not spotless or scrubbed, but tidy. The hub and I have learned about one another that we function best when our home is peaceful and there's not a lot of clutter. We don't always reach this goal, but it's still one of the things I focus on during the day. I am a better mama and wife when our home is in order (somewhat). But I read something like "good moms have messy homes" when my home is clean and tidy and I do have clean floors and I think, "Did I spend my time poorly? Does that really mean I am a bad mom?"
Ahhhhh, the motherhood trap. There is always somewhere else we "should" be spending our time. There is always "better" or something more. There is always someone to compare ourselves to, and someone who seems to have it "all together" more than we do at that moment.
And yet there are things I could be doing that would be a better use of my time. This is always true in every season of life. There are places in my life I can improve or give up something I've been holding onto. Yet the reality is, as mamas we must do what is best for us, for our husbands, for our families and move on. What's best in my home, in this season, is not what's best for everyone. Motherhood is such a gray area -- there are certainly non-negotiables involved in what's best for kids -- and I desire to be content with what our family has set as priorities and not compare myself to anyone else. Because Mack and Evelyn were born into this family, it means I am the best mama for them.
P.S. After writing a post the other day about our days being peaceful, I was laughing to myself at 2pm yesterday when our day had totally derailed. No one napped (except the dog), and every set of sheets on beds needed to be changed for a variety of reasons. Diapers were leaking, clothes had to be changed a ridiculous amount of times, and there were a lot of toddler tears. We pulled it together, played outside (where a pot of dirt was then dumped on a toddler's head by herself), and took 2 baths. But because most of our days are simple and smooth, days like that don't throw me like they might otherwise. I laughed aloud a lot because what else can you do when your toddler cries about the color of straw she was given?
But I also think it's dangerous to say ________ means you are a good mother (and to me it sounds like if you are doing the opposite you are a bad mother). Yes, clean homes shouldn't be our focus in these days (and probably not ever in life), but I also think there are things that make life smooth and peaceful for certain families, and we should encourage those mamas to do those things. For instance, I am not a crafter or sewer. And if I wanted to start those things today, I am not sure when I would do them. But I have dear friends who love to create and it's such a sweet outlet for them -- they grow in creativity, grow as women, make money for their families, and enjoy doing it. For them, finding the time to craft or create is totally worth it and is fruitful. But it's not for me.
We love to have our home tidy. Not spotless or scrubbed, but tidy. The hub and I have learned about one another that we function best when our home is peaceful and there's not a lot of clutter. We don't always reach this goal, but it's still one of the things I focus on during the day. I am a better mama and wife when our home is in order (somewhat). But I read something like "good moms have messy homes" when my home is clean and tidy and I do have clean floors and I think, "Did I spend my time poorly? Does that really mean I am a bad mom?"
Ahhhhh, the motherhood trap. There is always somewhere else we "should" be spending our time. There is always "better" or something more. There is always someone to compare ourselves to, and someone who seems to have it "all together" more than we do at that moment.
And yet there are things I could be doing that would be a better use of my time. This is always true in every season of life. There are places in my life I can improve or give up something I've been holding onto. Yet the reality is, as mamas we must do what is best for us, for our husbands, for our families and move on. What's best in my home, in this season, is not what's best for everyone. Motherhood is such a gray area -- there are certainly non-negotiables involved in what's best for kids -- and I desire to be content with what our family has set as priorities and not compare myself to anyone else. Because Mack and Evelyn were born into this family, it means I am the best mama for them.
P.S. After writing a post the other day about our days being peaceful, I was laughing to myself at 2pm yesterday when our day had totally derailed. No one napped (except the dog), and every set of sheets on beds needed to be changed for a variety of reasons. Diapers were leaking, clothes had to be changed a ridiculous amount of times, and there were a lot of toddler tears. We pulled it together, played outside (where a pot of dirt was then dumped on a toddler's head by herself), and took 2 baths. But because most of our days are simple and smooth, days like that don't throw me like they might otherwise. I laughed aloud a lot because what else can you do when your toddler cries about the color of straw she was given?
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