My intentions in October started off with a bang ... and didn't end quite as strong. But the point for me was to think of small goals to shoot for during the month, and writing them down and blogging about them made me think on it more. It also made me excited when the end of October came because I could start fresh with intentions for November.
I loved the idea of doing yoga every day, but it just didn't happen. I did either walk or do yoga most days, so the idea of being active was there.
I've started reading Proverbs, and this time I am reading one a day (some days 2 or 3) and journaling about what strikes me, what convicts, thoughts, and any verses that really stick out. It's been powerful, so I'm adding that to my November intentions list.
One thing I really noticed at the end of October (and has probably been true for some time) is that when I eat, I am often standing or walking around. Usually this is because I am cooking something for E or tidying up the kitchen and trying to eat at the same time. But it also ends up being snacking all. the. time. and just grazing. I'm going to work on that during November -- only eating when sitting down, even if it's just a small snack.
November intentions:
- Walk or yoga every day
- Read and journal on one Proverb a day
- Only eat sitting down
- Blogging 2x a week
11.01.2013
10.30.2013
growing in wisdom.
I've been reading through Proverbs lately, aiming to read one or two chapters each morning and journaling as I read, noting what sticks out and what I want to sit on and think on a bit more.
The idea that is really sitting deeply for me this time reading this book is wisdom. What does wise living look like? How do I cultivate it? What areas of my life am I doing unwise things? In Proverbs 2 it talks about "tuning your ears to wisdom" -- I am desiring in this season to tune my life, as you would tune an instrument, to wisdom. I am looking at items that go in -- tv, blogs I read, books, magazines, conversations, thoughts I sit on -- and trying to take out all that doesn't add to wisdom in my life. I don't think anything frivolous is bad or should be avoided, but I also noticed I'd let things in that are taking away from my focus.
"If you live a life of wisdom, you won't limp or stumble when you run" Proverbs 12.4
As a wise person is described in Proverbs, -- glad to be instructed, gives good advice, their words lead to life, their life is filled with joy, one with understanding -- it has struck me that those words describe who I want to be.
The idea that is really sitting deeply for me this time reading this book is wisdom. What does wise living look like? How do I cultivate it? What areas of my life am I doing unwise things? In Proverbs 2 it talks about "tuning your ears to wisdom" -- I am desiring in this season to tune my life, as you would tune an instrument, to wisdom. I am looking at items that go in -- tv, blogs I read, books, magazines, conversations, thoughts I sit on -- and trying to take out all that doesn't add to wisdom in my life. I don't think anything frivolous is bad or should be avoided, but I also noticed I'd let things in that are taking away from my focus.
"If you live a life of wisdom, you won't limp or stumble when you run" Proverbs 12.4
As a wise person is described in Proverbs, -- glad to be instructed, gives good advice, their words lead to life, their life is filled with joy, one with understanding -- it has struck me that those words describe who I want to be.
10.10.2013
narrow & full.
I listened to a podcast this morning that talked about these days of mothering, especially small kids, being narrow -- there are constraints because we are raising children that may not be present in other seasons of life -- but not unimportant. Just because we have constraints does not mean our days aren't impacting, fruitful, or unimportant. Such good reminders for me.
The other night I went to hear Sally Clarkson speak. Have you read her books or blog? (If not, I highly recommend reading her blog and her book Misson of Motherhood) She is a seasoned mama. She has trudged her way through mothering, growing and raising successful, joyful children. When she speaks, it's like something is ignited in me to refocus, see the big picture, and love my kids well. She speaks at a local church once a month to a group of hungry-to-grow mamas and it's powerful to be there. One thing I especially love is being with women who desire to be excellent mothers, and are doing something about it. It encourages me to press on and keep finding ways to grow because of the fruit I see in their homes and children and marriages.
The words that most impacted me from hearing Sally speak was the picture she gave of God pouring into me and me pouring into my child. It's such a good picture, but what really struck me was that if I am not in line with God -- not spending time with Him, growing, praying, walking in peace and joy -- I am still pouring something into my children, but it is not of God. They receive something from me, but what are they receiving? It's been a good thing for me to ponder the past couple of days and think on where my time is spent.
After spending a bit of time with two dear friends yesterday afternoon, I was reminded that the most important place I put my time and effort is into my relationship with God. If I stray there, every other facet of my life is impacted. If I am faithful there, every other facet of my life is impacted. And it doesn't need to be an hour long, luxurious, completely silent chunk of time, but I am pouring out what I am putting in.
The other night I went to hear Sally Clarkson speak. Have you read her books or blog? (If not, I highly recommend reading her blog and her book Misson of Motherhood) She is a seasoned mama. She has trudged her way through mothering, growing and raising successful, joyful children. When she speaks, it's like something is ignited in me to refocus, see the big picture, and love my kids well. She speaks at a local church once a month to a group of hungry-to-grow mamas and it's powerful to be there. One thing I especially love is being with women who desire to be excellent mothers, and are doing something about it. It encourages me to press on and keep finding ways to grow because of the fruit I see in their homes and children and marriages.
The words that most impacted me from hearing Sally speak was the picture she gave of God pouring into me and me pouring into my child. It's such a good picture, but what really struck me was that if I am not in line with God -- not spending time with Him, growing, praying, walking in peace and joy -- I am still pouring something into my children, but it is not of God. They receive something from me, but what are they receiving? It's been a good thing for me to ponder the past couple of days and think on where my time is spent.
After spending a bit of time with two dear friends yesterday afternoon, I was reminded that the most important place I put my time and effort is into my relationship with God. If I stray there, every other facet of my life is impacted. If I am faithful there, every other facet of my life is impacted. And it doesn't need to be an hour long, luxurious, completely silent chunk of time, but I am pouring out what I am putting in.
10.03.2013
keeping it clean and other thoughts on motherhood.
Many places I look or read about motherhood makes note of "good mothers" having dirty floors or messy homes. And I totally get the sentiment -- the most important thing when we are in the throes of mothering small children is not a clean home. And with that I completely agree.
But I also think it's dangerous to say ________ means you are a good mother (and to me it sounds like if you are doing the opposite you are a bad mother). Yes, clean homes shouldn't be our focus in these days (and probably not ever in life), but I also think there are things that make life smooth and peaceful for certain families, and we should encourage those mamas to do those things. For instance, I am not a crafter or sewer. And if I wanted to start those things today, I am not sure when I would do them. But I have dear friends who love to create and it's such a sweet outlet for them -- they grow in creativity, grow as women, make money for their families, and enjoy doing it. For them, finding the time to craft or create is totally worth it and is fruitful. But it's not for me.
We love to have our home tidy. Not spotless or scrubbed, but tidy. The hub and I have learned about one another that we function best when our home is peaceful and there's not a lot of clutter. We don't always reach this goal, but it's still one of the things I focus on during the day. I am a better mama and wife when our home is in order (somewhat). But I read something like "good moms have messy homes" when my home is clean and tidy and I do have clean floors and I think, "Did I spend my time poorly? Does that really mean I am a bad mom?"
Ahhhhh, the motherhood trap. There is always somewhere else we "should" be spending our time. There is always "better" or something more. There is always someone to compare ourselves to, and someone who seems to have it "all together" more than we do at that moment.
And yet there are things I could be doing that would be a better use of my time. This is always true in every season of life. There are places in my life I can improve or give up something I've been holding onto. Yet the reality is, as mamas we must do what is best for us, for our husbands, for our families and move on. What's best in my home, in this season, is not what's best for everyone. Motherhood is such a gray area -- there are certainly non-negotiables involved in what's best for kids -- and I desire to be content with what our family has set as priorities and not compare myself to anyone else. Because Mack and Evelyn were born into this family, it means I am the best mama for them.
P.S. After writing a post the other day about our days being peaceful, I was laughing to myself at 2pm yesterday when our day had totally derailed. No one napped (except the dog), and every set of sheets on beds needed to be changed for a variety of reasons. Diapers were leaking, clothes had to be changed a ridiculous amount of times, and there were a lot of toddler tears. We pulled it together, played outside (where a pot of dirt was then dumped on a toddler's head by herself), and took 2 baths. But because most of our days are simple and smooth, days like that don't throw me like they might otherwise. I laughed aloud a lot because what else can you do when your toddler cries about the color of straw she was given?
But I also think it's dangerous to say ________ means you are a good mother (and to me it sounds like if you are doing the opposite you are a bad mother). Yes, clean homes shouldn't be our focus in these days (and probably not ever in life), but I also think there are things that make life smooth and peaceful for certain families, and we should encourage those mamas to do those things. For instance, I am not a crafter or sewer. And if I wanted to start those things today, I am not sure when I would do them. But I have dear friends who love to create and it's such a sweet outlet for them -- they grow in creativity, grow as women, make money for their families, and enjoy doing it. For them, finding the time to craft or create is totally worth it and is fruitful. But it's not for me.
We love to have our home tidy. Not spotless or scrubbed, but tidy. The hub and I have learned about one another that we function best when our home is peaceful and there's not a lot of clutter. We don't always reach this goal, but it's still one of the things I focus on during the day. I am a better mama and wife when our home is in order (somewhat). But I read something like "good moms have messy homes" when my home is clean and tidy and I do have clean floors and I think, "Did I spend my time poorly? Does that really mean I am a bad mom?"
Ahhhhh, the motherhood trap. There is always somewhere else we "should" be spending our time. There is always "better" or something more. There is always someone to compare ourselves to, and someone who seems to have it "all together" more than we do at that moment.
And yet there are things I could be doing that would be a better use of my time. This is always true in every season of life. There are places in my life I can improve or give up something I've been holding onto. Yet the reality is, as mamas we must do what is best for us, for our husbands, for our families and move on. What's best in my home, in this season, is not what's best for everyone. Motherhood is such a gray area -- there are certainly non-negotiables involved in what's best for kids -- and I desire to be content with what our family has set as priorities and not compare myself to anyone else. Because Mack and Evelyn were born into this family, it means I am the best mama for them.
P.S. After writing a post the other day about our days being peaceful, I was laughing to myself at 2pm yesterday when our day had totally derailed. No one napped (except the dog), and every set of sheets on beds needed to be changed for a variety of reasons. Diapers were leaking, clothes had to be changed a ridiculous amount of times, and there were a lot of toddler tears. We pulled it together, played outside (where a pot of dirt was then dumped on a toddler's head by herself), and took 2 baths. But because most of our days are simple and smooth, days like that don't throw me like they might otherwise. I laughed aloud a lot because what else can you do when your toddler cries about the color of straw she was given?
9.29.2013
intentions in october.
As we move into October, I've been doing a lot of reflecting. My 33rd birthday is around the corner, and it feels like a fresh start when I start a new year. One word that keeps coming up is INTENTIONAL. I think there are a lot of places in my life I am intentional, but in relationships, this is often more difficult for me. I can conquer a to do list well, but focusing on people that can't be "checked off a list" is more difficult for me. And I know I am growing in being present, learning to "be" and not always doing, but I still have space to grow.
Several blogs I read have monthly goals or intentions. I love the idea of something big(ger) to focus on for the month. It gives me time to really see something emerge. If I do a new thing for a few days, I often don't feel or see a difference and I move on.
My October intentions are:
- spend time outside with E every day (and Mack too, if it works)
- do at least 15 minutes of yoga every day
- blog 2 times a week
- write at least 1 email/note a week to a friend
Our days have taken on an easy rhythm and I am really, truly enjoying these days. I had a lot of plans for us for the fall. E and I did a lot of "going" before Mack arrived and it worked well for us. We'd go somewhere almost every day, able to pop home right before nap time and then she'd nap for 2-3 hours. In the midst of having a baby, recovering from the c-section, and learning how to move through our days with 2 littles, that routine wasn't working anymore. I found myself frustrated that Mack wouldn't "go along" with the things E and I have been doing.
And then I felt the Lord tell me to take most everything off our schedule. The only thing we have "scheduled" during the week is our Monday play group. And even that gets skipped if my mama gut instinct is that the littles (or I) need the morning at home. Naps are (finally) happening more. Our days aren't hectic or hurried. We are able to move slowly, rest when we need to ... and while I am not spending nearly as much time with grown ups as I did months ago, I am enjoying my kids. Our home feels peaceful and our days are simple. I am being stretched to be content and enjoy this space and season, even though it doesn't look just like I thought it would.
After typing all that it might sound like our days are all smiles and quiet moments. This certainly isn't true. I've got an opinionated, verbal two-year-old with me all day (and she has an opinionated, verbal mama), and that lends itself to a lot of deep breaths (for both of us) and disciplining. But even in that, the Lord is stretching and growing my heart for her. I see so much of myself in her big emotions. It's teaching me to care for myself well so I can engage and guide E.
I desire for her to be a woman who knows how to be in control of her emotions, not overrun by them. When she falls on the ground sobbing because Mack is still asleep, her breakfast is not what she wanted, or we have to leave a fun activity, I see my heart and how I respond (although usually my response is internal and I don't actually fall on the floor crying) and allow my emotions to go wild. We are working to learn self-control and walk in peace in our home, the both of us.
Each morning I am meditating on these verses, that they may be true for our family and our home:
"May PEACE be within your walls" Psalm 122.7
"One handful of peaceful repose (meaning = rest, sleep, being in one place) is better than two fistfuls of worried work." Ecc. 4.6
"Wisdom is more precious than rubies; and nothing you can wish for is to be compared with her... Her ways are highways of pleasantness, and all her paths are peace." Proverbs 3.15-17
9.05.2013
and now it's fall. thoughts in my brain.
"Motherhood is a hallowed place because children aren't commonplace. Co-laboring over the sculpting of souls is a sacred vocation, a humbling privileged." ~Ann Voskamp
Being home with small children feels small. I do a lot of the same things over and over and over. They are needed and would be obvious if I didn't do them. But it doesn't always feel big and impacting and life-giving. I am quick to speak truth to other moms about their importance and value, but rarely feel that way myself. As I've looked to the fall, making goals and thinking on what's important, I've been continually reminded -- while this season (and perhaps other seasons as well) feels small, I am creating a foundation for my children, for our family. My spiritual act of service in this season is caring for and tending to my children and husband. It may not be big and I won't earn any awards, but there is power and value and worth in the small life I am leading. Co-laboring over the sculpting of these souls is my privilege (oh, that I would walk that out daily).
I recently finished reading The Mission of Motherhood by Sally Clarkson. I've read bits before, but really dug in this time. It gave me such vision for these days.
"Children do not accidentally become righteous leaders or emotionally healthy and productive adults." ~Sally Clarkson
"I needed to accept days like this -- my children's neediness, the myriad of mindless tasks, and even my occasional discomfort --- as part of my partnering with my husband toward our mutual goal of building a godly heritage for Christ." ~Sally Clarkson
My friend Linds is a great "vision caster" and able to think through and look ahead to what the behavior of today would look like in one, five, or ten years. She encourages me to cast vision for my family and children and parent for the long term. This has been such a needed piece for me lately. As it turns out, two year olds can be a tad annoying. They can be tiring. But I don't want to parent out of being annoyed or tired. I want to parent for the long run.
Being home with small children feels small. I do a lot of the same things over and over and over. They are needed and would be obvious if I didn't do them. But it doesn't always feel big and impacting and life-giving. I am quick to speak truth to other moms about their importance and value, but rarely feel that way myself. As I've looked to the fall, making goals and thinking on what's important, I've been continually reminded -- while this season (and perhaps other seasons as well) feels small, I am creating a foundation for my children, for our family. My spiritual act of service in this season is caring for and tending to my children and husband. It may not be big and I won't earn any awards, but there is power and value and worth in the small life I am leading. Co-laboring over the sculpting of these souls is my privilege (oh, that I would walk that out daily).
I recently finished reading The Mission of Motherhood by Sally Clarkson. I've read bits before, but really dug in this time. It gave me such vision for these days.
"Children do not accidentally become righteous leaders or emotionally healthy and productive adults." ~Sally Clarkson
"I needed to accept days like this -- my children's neediness, the myriad of mindless tasks, and even my occasional discomfort --- as part of my partnering with my husband toward our mutual goal of building a godly heritage for Christ." ~Sally Clarkson
My friend Linds is a great "vision caster" and able to think through and look ahead to what the behavior of today would look like in one, five, or ten years. She encourages me to cast vision for my family and children and parent for the long term. This has been such a needed piece for me lately. As it turns out, two year olds can be a tad annoying. They can be tiring. But I don't want to parent out of being annoyed or tired. I want to parent for the long run.
7.16.2013
quiet mornings.
When E was born, I was given a lot of advice: sleep when the baby sleeps, your house won't be clean -- give it up!, don't get up early for anything. Of course, there are seasons with littles and in some of those our house has been less clean than others and in some I have napped much more. My days this time involve disciplining, caring for, and talking to a 2-year-old almost all day. I adore E and love being home with her -- but I cannot spend months checked out and tired. The end of pregnancy is hard on us -- and I already spent more than a few weeks being a bit checked out with my girl and at home. I decided 10 days after Mack was born to trim my diet (not going on a diet -- changing what I was eating) to include foods I knew would nourish me, help me continue nursing, and give me energy. I knew I would be lacking in sleep, but my girl needs a present mama, so I set out to do what I could to give myself the energy I needed.
One morning I was praying and felt the Lord speak clearly -- that if I wanted to THRIVE in this season of having a newborn and a toddler, if I want to grow in my friendships, if I want my marriage to flourish -- my roots must be deep in Him.
The morning I read this, I was immediately convicted. I had settled into the mindset that I could "coast" because I'd just had a baby and there was a lot on my plate. Now, this is true. We are adjusting and transitioning and learning this new season of life. There is a bit more on my plate -- which is all the more reason that I must plant myself next to the water. I desire to live intentionally, to be present with my family, to prosper and produce fruit in each season. I felt clearly that the Lord was asking me to carve out time in the morning to refocus. In years past, this time has been a huge chunk. I remember when I lived alone and would have an hour or more each morning of time to pray and read. That is not the season I am in now -- but He is meeting me in my 10 or 15 minutes and it has changed our home.
I had a realization (you mamas out there might be thinking, "Yep. I knew that already.") the other day -- when my attitude is off and I am not peaceful and seeking joy, every person in my family suffers. My attitude and heart set the tone for our home.
On the mornings that I am not up as early as I'd like or Mack is up earlier than I had hoped, I grab coffee (bless that husband of mine for making a pot of coffee for us every morning before I get out of bed!) and sit down to nurse Mack in his room. I read this each morning (from Ann Voskamp's blog -- A Holy Experience), and really sit on it those mornings when it's all the time I'm getting before I hit the ground running (I have it as a photo on my phone -- you can download a PDF copy, so I can easily pull it up):
10 Grace Prayers for Joyful Parenting
1. Just for today, I will ask for His grace to make our home a house of prayer. I will pray at set times. And I will invite our children to come move into an interior space that lives with God.
2. Just for today, I will ask for His grace to transfigure all things into beauty. He's working to redeem all things, in His time, into the image of His Son.
3. Just for today, I will ask for His grace to see that life is not an emergency. Emergencies
are sudden, unexpected events— and is anything under the sun unexpected to God? I can slow and I can trust.
4. Just for today, I will ask for His grace, that when stress mounts, I'll dismount it with
gratitude. My stress coping mechanism will be verbal intervention with verbal thanks. It's impossible to simultaneously feel stress and gratitude at the same time and I choose to give thanks at all times. Fight feeling with feeling!
5. Just for today, I will ask for His grace to speak words that are only strong words, words
that make these children feel strong. Grace words. Grace is the only non-toxic air.
6. Just for today, I will ask for His grace to be consistently consistent. I will create safe
rhythms that our children can find security in. I will create daily ceremonies because everyday we are CELEBRATING the gift of now!
7. Just for today, I will ask for His grace, the moment when I am most repelled by a child’s behavior, that is my sign to draw the very closest to that child.
8. Just for today, I will ask for His grace to hug each of my children as many times as I
serve them meals — because children’s hearts feed on touch. I’ll look for as many opportunities to touch my children today as possible — the taller they are, the more so.
9. Just for today, I will ask for His grace to make my priorities all Things Unseen.
10. Just for today, I will ask for His grace to laugh! And I will let the little children laugh! I will create a culture of JOY!
One morning I was praying and felt the Lord speak clearly -- that if I wanted to THRIVE in this season of having a newborn and a toddler, if I want to grow in my friendships, if I want my marriage to flourish -- my roots must be deep in Him.
"But blessed are those who TRUST in the Lord
and have made the Lord their hope and confidence.
They are like trees planted along a riverbank,
with roots that REACH DEEP into the water.
Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought.
Their leaves stay green, and they go right on producing delicious fruit."
Jeremiah 17.7-8
The morning I read this, I was immediately convicted. I had settled into the mindset that I could "coast" because I'd just had a baby and there was a lot on my plate. Now, this is true. We are adjusting and transitioning and learning this new season of life. There is a bit more on my plate -- which is all the more reason that I must plant myself next to the water. I desire to live intentionally, to be present with my family, to prosper and produce fruit in each season. I felt clearly that the Lord was asking me to carve out time in the morning to refocus. In years past, this time has been a huge chunk. I remember when I lived alone and would have an hour or more each morning of time to pray and read. That is not the season I am in now -- but He is meeting me in my 10 or 15 minutes and it has changed our home.
I had a realization (you mamas out there might be thinking, "Yep. I knew that already.") the other day -- when my attitude is off and I am not peaceful and seeking joy, every person in my family suffers. My attitude and heart set the tone for our home.
On the mornings that I am not up as early as I'd like or Mack is up earlier than I had hoped, I grab coffee (bless that husband of mine for making a pot of coffee for us every morning before I get out of bed!) and sit down to nurse Mack in his room. I read this each morning (from Ann Voskamp's blog -- A Holy Experience), and really sit on it those mornings when it's all the time I'm getting before I hit the ground running (I have it as a photo on my phone -- you can download a PDF copy, so I can easily pull it up):
10 Grace Prayers for Joyful Parenting
1. Just for today, I will ask for His grace to make our home a house of prayer. I will pray at set times. And I will invite our children to come move into an interior space that lives with God.
2. Just for today, I will ask for His grace to transfigure all things into beauty. He's working to redeem all things, in His time, into the image of His Son.
3. Just for today, I will ask for His grace to see that life is not an emergency. Emergencies
are sudden, unexpected events— and is anything under the sun unexpected to God? I can slow and I can trust.
4. Just for today, I will ask for His grace, that when stress mounts, I'll dismount it with
gratitude. My stress coping mechanism will be verbal intervention with verbal thanks. It's impossible to simultaneously feel stress and gratitude at the same time and I choose to give thanks at all times. Fight feeling with feeling!
5. Just for today, I will ask for His grace to speak words that are only strong words, words
that make these children feel strong. Grace words. Grace is the only non-toxic air.
6. Just for today, I will ask for His grace to be consistently consistent. I will create safe
rhythms that our children can find security in. I will create daily ceremonies because everyday we are CELEBRATING the gift of now!
7. Just for today, I will ask for His grace, the moment when I am most repelled by a child’s behavior, that is my sign to draw the very closest to that child.
8. Just for today, I will ask for His grace to hug each of my children as many times as I
serve them meals — because children’s hearts feed on touch. I’ll look for as many opportunities to touch my children today as possible — the taller they are, the more so.
9. Just for today, I will ask for His grace to make my priorities all Things Unseen.
10. Just for today, I will ask for His grace to laugh! And I will let the little children laugh! I will create a culture of JOY!
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